Closer to home ,,,

Reflecting on the past couple of years, I now realize what a journey this has been.  Not just the physical health stuff, but the mental and spiritual as well.  PTSD is an insidious bastard.  You don't have to be involved in big life altering events, direct combat, or direct physical abuse.  The more treacherous is the slow wearing away of your sense of self in order to deal with the heightened awareness needed to survive.  You lose your place.  And then they send you home.

It mostly looks the same as when we left.  Our people gather around; friends, family, community.  They ask us questions, we tell them stories. even explaining "No, I didn't see direct combat.  Some joker fired a few rockets in our general direction but my job was in the headquarters.  If I was out in the field there would be nobody to do my job. I didn't get out much." Yet, you knew there were Taliban and Al Qaeda cleaning your office, emptying the toilets, delivering the water.  You just didn't know WHO were Taliban or Al Qaeda.  You're careful with your weapon, your ammunition, your information.  You keep your eyes open. All day.  Every day. Every day.  It may be home, but we're not home yet.

It's not the signs, the parades, the speeches. It's not getting back to your routine.  It's when you can walk down the street and not concerned about where an IED may be hidden or attack vectors.  It's when you can take your kids to the mall and maintain a leisurely pace without serpentine patterns.  It's when you can step aside and say "Excuse me" to someone crowding you rather than take them to the floor while reaching for zip cuffs.  It's not completely freaking out when you reach for your weapon and find it's not there.  It's when you realize it's not supposed to be there.  It's when you finally don't reach for it at all.  It's when we finally realize we don't need it.  It's when we forget it.  Then we're rendered safe, then we've found our place. Then we're home.  Baby steps.

Time for an update

I've just spent this his past year focused on my physical rehabilitation.  It wasn't any one big event that sent me to The Endurance Athlete Center, even though I've had a few.  It was a series of smaller events over time, bad advice, and poor habits.  Twenty years in the National Guard, with most of that on active duty in the U.S. Army, wore me down.  When my body started failing me; shoulders, hips, and legs in particular, I retired from the Guard.  At first I just attributed it to age and the athleticism of working through natural disasters and combat zones.  I thought rest from the stress and strain was all I needed.  Then pain become constant, weakness prevalent, and as I worked to get myself back into shape I realized rest wasn't enough and I didn't know how to recuperate.  I sought help.

This is an unsolicited testimonial for The Endurance Athlete Center.  Liz, my physical therapist, helped me find the weaknesses, the causes of the weaknesses, and then put me on the path to recovery.  She then handed me off to Graeme, my trainer, who taught, coached, and mentored me to find my way back to strength and health.  We started working at my pace, now we're working at his so that by the end of the session I'm nothing but a puddle of mud.  Rebecca has shown me how to maximize the effect of the work I'm putting forth through proper nutrition.  I've made great strides and I'm not done yet.

I cannot thank them enough.  If you're in Northern Virginia, DC, or Maryland, I highly recommend before you start a physical training program, see your doctor, and then call The Endurance Athlete Center.  Proper training is the difference between success and failure.  If you're an athlete and want to improve your performance, call The Endurance Athlete Center.  If you've sustained an injury and your doctor prescribes physical therapy and rehabilitation, call The Endurance Athlete Center.  They know what they're doing

The Miracle at Cana

I've often contemplated what is the mystery of the miracle of the wedding feast at Cana (John 2:1-11).  This morning, while meditating on this mystery in the Rosary, the Lord revealed to me a new aspect of this teaching.

We are both Priest and Prophet on the earth.  The Priest has the authority to call on the Lord and the Prophet the responsibility to carry it out.  Mary is the figure from which the church is modeled; Mary is to God as the Church is to Christ.  The servants are the messengers delivering the result.  Mary tells them "do whatever He tells you."  In this scene, Mary is directing the ministry of Jesus and the servants are carrying it out.  Mary has authority to call on Jesus, the servants the responsibility to do what he tells them and deliver the results to the others.

Remember, this is on the other side of the Cross where priest and prophet were separate.  Moses and Aaron, David and Nathaniel, the Law and Elijah and Elisha. This side of the Cross, we are both priest and prophet.  We have the authority to call on the Lord and also the responsibility to carry out what He tells us.  Practice listening.